Midnight Discussions with Self

When I look in the mirror I hate what I see
who is this person, this face and these scars
a stranger stares back.
An unfamiliar being, I’m no longer myself
make up unused, covered in dust,
favorite lipstick forgotten I cut away the pain hoping to feel, there’s nothing there.
Where did it go my love and my peace.
I gave so much, now I’ve lost it all.
Who took it from me?
I make jokes and I laugh. If asked I’ll say I’m perfectly fine.
No one will doubt because no one quite knows, this person they see
An imposter I swear. she’s long ceased to be someone they once knew.
Say the right thing, another day passes by and all I can hope is tonight  I die.